When nothing goes your way!

I know everybody whoever is reading this must have felt like the end of their lives at certain times in their life. Funny part, i've been feeling like that for over an year now. There, said it. Those low back times when you feeling nothing, numb in your feet, your mind and your heart and nothing seems to go your way, literally nothing. Graduated from senior school, did not do well, eventually fate had me and put me picking up from my dear school to a place where there are no people to learn from, dumbheads, my uni and college is not what i ever wanted. Are u with me and felt the same when all you wanna do is stay in bed all day and all u wanna hear is a song on repeat for days and daaayyys. Staring at those empty walls all day, looking at your hands, wondering what went wrong and closed your eyes, tears stream down your faces.. Yep, you just want the end of your life there. You can't seem to find any reason to stay, who will you stay for? What will you give to this world? All that negative self talk, that lowest self.esteem u ever had, that lowest confidence in yourself, you just wanna lay flat and wish mornings never happened. The sun shouldn't rise, god my eyes hurt. You slam the door on your friends' faces.. You wanna be alone.. But for how long? You don't know, literally. All your happy days and your happy..moments.. Those dreams you weaved lying on bed at nights in your senior school year, "I'll go to that university, i'll prove to my teachers, my friends, my family and give it all to them back with that unconditional love that they served me for so long".. Where are those dreams, shattered? You tryna find those sharp pieces.. Glue them together.. Stick em up.. The picture isn't the same anymore. You pushed people away, they never came back. All by myself. People stare at you thinkin what's wrong with her. But here, all you feel is that tiredness in your eyes by waking up whole nights and crying endlessly... Trips to the washroom.. Sitting on the floor and trying to take drops of that crimson from your wrists and thighs. Man, why did god ever put me on this earth!. Negative. Negative. Empty. Numb. Scars.
But days go by, god, those scars hurt. Can't pick up a pencil. What if anyone sees them? Felt so insecure. So dumb. And numb. Felt nothing at times. Days pass by. Trying to stand up.. Face again.. Let those sun rays fall on my eyes..let me be hurt by them And then feel them like an elixir.. I stood up.. Trying to recover.. But.. U fall down again, seeing those fights at home, parents.. Selfish dad.. And hard working mom.. Why everything has to be this hard. You keep your feelings to yourself, cause nobody would ever understand them.. I guess, standing up again is an option i would consider.

The Beatles

yeah, so i though knew about this ultimate famous band but didn't ever take any effort to listen to it earlier. One of my friends used to watch Glee (the sitcom) and i never watched it before so one day it was being aired so i was like "yeah let me see that.. what's it all about, why is it so famous?" and after the next hour, i was like "i will WILL watch this sitcom religggggiousllyy!!!" :p and on that particular episode (if i remember it perfectly, it was Season 5 Episode 02) and Tina aka beauty queen in that sitcom won the Homecoming Queen title :P Woohoo! but jealous of her, the real jealousy-filled girls just planned something terrible! And when she got laughed at .. her Glee Club friends soothed her and stood by her by singing Hey Jude by The Beatles! and in those 3 minutes, I fell in love with the beatles <3 spent the whole night till 2 am searching for their songs, listening to them, reading their wikipedia, reading about each one of them!!! Quite a band! You cannot find a band or a music like that now-a-days!!